Just a list of complaints

1. Lips are so swollen and numb it feels like someone turned them into water balloons.
2. I have to sleep in a mostly upright position to decrease swelling.
3. but I can only sleep for about 2 hours at a time or my sinuses start filling up again and I can't breathe.
4. The jaw bra is like a combination collar/turtleneck/actual bra and all of those are things I hate.
5. Eating through a syringe. 
6. The intense cravings for whatever food is in that commercial right now.
7. I can't cuddle with my dog because she likes to sit on faces.
8. I can't sleep on my stomach for obvious reasons.
9. I can't talk and I don't care what you say, finding a pen and paper is always less convenient.
10. My ear hurts, how random is that?
11. I would really really like to wash my face.
12. OH GOD I WANT TO BRUSH MY TEETH I WILL NEVER TAKE ORAL HYGIENE FOR GRANTED EVER AGAIN.
13. Also literally my lips are so swollen and annoying make it stop.

Day 5

Mostly successful day, because my swelling peaked last night and has only gone down a little I decided to lay extra low today. Lots of sleeping and experimenting with different foods to eat.

Alternative to tomato soup: Cream of chicken. it tastes more like an actual meal than just ketchup.

Grammy was able to help me make a soup that was on a list of recipes the hospital gave me and we only had to make a few alterations.

Sweet Potato and Apple Bisque

• peel and dice 1 lb of sweet potatoes (or just two big ones).
• peel and dice one granny smith apple.
• boil in separate pots until soft.
• put into one big pot then add 1 1/2 cup low-sodium chicken broth.
• 3/4 cup apple juice.
• 1 tbsp canola oil.
• dash of black pepper.
• bring to a simmer.
• blend until smooth then strain before serving.

The recipe also called for onions and I can see how for flavor that might be nice but I like it just fine without.

Day 4 Continued...

Starting out with a shout out to the best Grammy ever for taking care of my today! We ran some errands and I got to leave my house which felt awesome...and exhausting! I even got to eat something that was not chicken broth. Okay it was tomato soup...but still a step up. It was kind of like drinking ketchup through a straw but again still better than constant broth. I will be trying a recipe for sweet potato apple bisque some time this week so I think that might be a project for tomorrow getting all the ingredients (maybe Grammy will be so kind as to help me with that).

Unfortunately I was so excited about being able to talk a little more today that I talked too much and ended up having to call the APRN who was on call at Yale because I swelled up so bad. Basically they told me that I have to sit down and shut up if I ever want to heal. So tomorrow I have to cool it and take an extra nap. Okay if you insist. Also in case you couldn't tell, I've literally given up caring about my hair. There's no saving it from the Jaw Bra's mighty grasp.

I see Dr. Stienbacher (also just found out his name is Derrick and I thought it was Jonathan so the initials on my face were DS so slightly embarrassed) on Friday for my one week post-op appointment, keeping my fingers crossed that he will give me the okay to start using cups, baby spoons and maybe even a straw because this syringe thing is getting real old.

Day 4

4:30 AM: I can't sleep and I have yet to sleep through the night. I take my pain medication about every four to five hours so say I take it around 9:00 pm I should be able to sleep until about 2:00 am. Well all that depends on how well I can breathe. One of the issues of not being able to open your mouth is not being able to cough or swallow phlegm that gets stuck in the back of your throat. Not to mention, I can't sleep on my side or my stomach or put any pressure on my jaw at all so all that throat junk is literally draining into my windpipe all night, so roughly every twenty minutes I wake up having to cough and sniffle violently for breath. So that is a delightful new development. The swelling also seemed to have gone down significantly yesterday but it is back and fully swinging so that is painful as well.

I also wanted to explain the marks on my face in the pictures I've been posting. So basically before surgery they marked me up and made sure they were making incisions in all the right places but then didn't clean up their mess lol. My surgeon, Dr. Stienbacher, had to write his initials on my forehead before operating to make sure that they weren't going to be cutting open the wrong person. Which is apparently something Yale has to worry about a lot  because autographing your patient is required before surgery...Thankfully the "JS" that was on my forehead has washed off. Most of the other big markings are sharpie but some of it it blood from when they had to re-position my chin. Unfortunately I can't remove the bandage yet so I am forced to just look like I can't wash my face, sorry guys. Oh and that thing that is on my head? Jaw Bra. That is legit what it is called. And its the bane of my existence. But, "Your hair has never looked sexier" -Collin Schuster.

Day 3

So I like to think I am pretty tough when it comes to pain tolerance levels but let me tell you, getting your jaw broken in four places sucks. So I come to you today from my parents' bed (they have the good pillows) full of extra-strength pain medication (did this ever seem like a regular-strength appropriate situation? I think not) and fairly up-beat. I got to have visitors today and I was actually awake for it and it was so good to see Sarah and Collin Schuster! I have such supportive friends! And neither of them even screamed.

The new meds don't even taste that bad, so I'm either growing as a medication-taking adult or they decided not to keep torturing people who already require the DRINKABLE medicine option.

On the recovery front: this is my new best friend. I've named him and made him part of my hourly routine. Trust me you don't want to know the details but I can breathe and that is an amazing feeling.

I have been eating a lot more today too, two cups of chicken broth and two cups of almond milk. Tomorrow's goal: three cups of literally anything else. Dad said he would make me onion soup so I can at least have the yummy flavored broth.

And for what I am now referring to as "What Scary Thing Do I Resemble Today?"

Miss Trunchbull from Matilda!

Ow...OW OW OW

Just some jaw surgery humor.

the pre-op stuff was overwhelming but the wost part was that I had to take out my nose ring and my cartilage ring which means I have to get those re-pierced. But I was able to get my belly ring back in so yay!

Then I woke up and felt like this.The liquid pain medicine is tastes like the Devil's urine and I kept coughing up blood thanks to the anesthesia. I had a couple of great nurses though, shout out to Dave and Sarah who literally put up with all kinds of shit from me because felt so lousy. As for the annoying ones who kept waking me up you can go fly a kite in this thunder storm. Thanks. 

ONE DAY MORRRRREEEEE

(Totally sang the title like Jean Val Jean in Les Mis)

Tomorrow is my last day before surgery and I could not be more excited, nervous, anxious, and every other emotion in the book. I think I have everything I could possibly need but inevitably I will have forgotten something that my parents will have to pick up before I come home.

Lets just run through the list:

• clear broths and juices for my first two days home.
• baby tooth brushes.
• Holy Grail AKA Magic Bullet
• soups and smoothie ingredients to blend.
• Tub of Vaseline (recommended by a girl in my orthodontics office who reminded me I won't be able to open my mouth enough to lick my lips).
• plastic piercing retainer thingies so my piercings don't close up in surgery.

I think that is all I need right now right? 

I packed up most of my stuff to go back to school so I don't have to worry about that and I finished all my homework for my online class so all I have to do when I get home on Thursday or Friday is binge watch something on Netflix, all of which is a huge relief.

Also, I finally figured out how to add pictures to these blog posts! So in honor of getting my face broken on Wednesday here is a picture of my crooked jaw!

Once I get the images from the surgeon I will add those too but for now these awkward selfies give you an idea. I still can't believe that after YEARS of worrying about how weird my chin is in pictures and feeling like everyone notices it, I will finally finally finally not have to think about it anymore. I mean I will probably be swollen and chipmunk-y for a while but at least my jaw will be straight!!!

AHHHHHHHHH!!!

My surgery is on Wednesday. I need to find a new word to describe how I am feeling because excited and anxious don't cover it anymore.

Anyway, great news! I met with Dr. Steinbacher, my surgeon, on Tuesday and my surgery is less complicated than we had originally thought so I will only have to be on the liquid diet for 6 WEEKS! Everything I have read and everyone I have talked to has said it would take 3 months but he told be 6 WEEKS BITCHES! That seems much more manageable.

Also the guy who did my dental molds at the hospital was my favorite doctor so far, he was sassy and swore in front of me and was gossiping with the nurse about a another nurse who was apparently super dumb. It just made the whole process so much more entertaining and enjoyable, and instead of being treated like a patient he was treating me like a person and that was nice.

I have to admit I have been slacking on the one meal a day thing, I will warn you though: I tried the baby food squeezable things, and anything with fruit in it is pretty good but DON'T EVER EVER EVER try the one with Mac and Cheese and carrots. I'm pretty sure they just packaged the poop of the babies who ate it. You're welcome.

Experimenting Part 1

T minus 18 days 'til my surgery! So I met with a nutritionist last week to talk about the whole 3 months on a liquid diet thing and she had some great suggestions starting with: START EXPERIMENTING NOW! She recommended that I start replacing at least one meal a day with a "liquid meal" so that my body gets used to it and also so that I have a few recipes I know will taste good and fill me up after the surgery. Here is what I have learned so far:

• Everyone recommends the Magic Bullet Blender for a reason, its awesome! I found mine at JC Penny for 50 bucks. Its small (perfect for my dorm room) and it really blends everything!
• Vanilla nonfat yogurt makes a great base for any kind of fruit smoothie, throw some almond milk in and its delicious!
• To make something sweeter, don't add sugar, add vanilla extract or an alternative sweetener.
• Pineapple juice is supposed to make the swelling go down faster after surgery so stock up!

 I also found a couple recipes that work for me. I am only on the third day of trying to replace one meal with a smoothie so I only have 3 right now but more are sure to come!


1. Nutella Strawberry Smoothie

1 cup cut up strawberries
1 cup vanilla almond milk (you can substitute regular milk)
1 scoop of vanilla Ensure protein powder
2 tablespoons vanilla nonfat yogurt
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 tablespoon Nutella

It seriously tastes like a Nutella covered strawberry. Great for those chocolate cravings!
Side note: The nutritionist said that Nutella is really more like frosting but in small doses its perfectly fine. This week I am going to try the same recipe but with bananas and peanut butter! Stay tuned!)

2. Mango Smoothie

1 cup cut up mango cubes (as ripe as you can get them)
1 banana, mango and carrot Gerber baby food (don't judge, it actually works)
3 tablespoons vanilla nonfat yogurt
1 cup orange juice

This was a little chunky but overall not bad, I think I just needed to pick out riper mangos, I am also planning to try this again but add in some frozen bananas and carrot juice or pineapple juice instead of orange juice.

3. Blended Chunky Cheeseburger Soup

Just blend the Chunky Cheeseburger soup until smooth.

I added a dollop of sour cream just to make it look a little more appetizing and was very happy to find out that it tasted like a liquid Burger King Whopper! Now if only I could find soup that will taste like pizza and I will be good to go!

Countdown to Surgery Day!

It has been 5 months since I had my braces put on and I cannot believe the difference they have made! I seriously did not think my teeth were that crooked to begin with but now that they are so straight I have no idea how I didn't notice it before. It still sucks being 21 and having braces but I just keep reminding myself that this is the price I pay for having a jaw that works. That is what I tell people too when they ask about the surgery and tell them about the recovery process. Just "Yeah it will be uncomfortable but at least my jaw will work like its supposed to!"

One tip I have about the braces though is get the clear brackets. Especially if you are an adult, they really do make a difference. They are less noticeable in pictures and it is slightly less embarrassing, but get used to making weird faces in public while trying to gracefully pick something out of your teeth with your tongue.

All of my friends and family have been really supportive and my school is being awesome about helping me out during the recovery. My surgery is officially scheduled for August 19th which is two weeks before I go back to Lesley for the fall semester of my senior year. According to all the blogs and my surgeon, I will still be eating with a syringe at that point and I won't be able to eat anything through a straw for another 4 weeks after that, and then 4-6 weeks after that I can finally eat soft solid foods again. All of that meaning I won't be able to use my meal plan money in the dining hall. Luckily enough for me, Lesley has medical accommodations that allow me to order groceries through the school and they will be delivered to me so I can blend all my meals in the comfort of my dorm room (not bragging but I finally got a single! okay bragging a little). Not only that, they are allowing me to have a few extra excused absences for medical reasons and post-op appointments.

As gruesome as all of that sounds and how much I am so NOT looking forward to being a swollen chipmunk for up to 6 months post surgery, I am really really really excited to gain a little more confidence because of it, and to not be so self conscious about being in pictures or meeting new people. Right now I always feel like I have to apologize for my face, like "Sorry I know its weird but my face is asymmetrical could you pretend I'm not socially awkward about that? Thanks"