A miracle occurred and its no longer the seventh ring of hell hot. I still wasn't able to sleep last night though, I was just really overwhelmed from all the classes and running around I did yesterday that I just couldn't get my mind to shut off. I didn't realize how much time, focus and energy this recovery takes. I mean when I was at home for the first three weeks I wasn't working or doing anything that required my full attention and now that I am I realize how truly draining it is to have to really think about eating.
Normally if I had a full day of classes I would just stay in the student center and grab a sandwich or something to eat between classes. But now it really takes some planning: "okay I have to eat protein so I have energy, do I have time to eat with a spoon or should I just make a smoothie? A smoothie won't last very long though, should I just try to get fries from the student center and eat there? What if one of my bands snaps?" You don't realize how mindless eating is until you can't eat. More than that I also really have to focus when I talk, and smiling takes a lot of effort too. It may have just been that I needed to talk a lot yesterday but when I got back to my room my jaw was definitely tender and even opening to eat applesauce was a struggle. I also notice today that the sutures on the inside of my lips on my gum line feel really tight, like moving my lips is stretching them in a weird way that I never noticed before.
Thankfully I only have one class today and I am off totally tomorrow so I have time to prepare for another long day on Monday. I also got to see my best friend and former roommate, Hannah, for a little bit this morning. She brought me coffee and it was glorious, I haven't had coffee since before the surgery, I'm not sure why because coffee is the elixir of life.
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